12 Rounds

12 Rounds – 2009

 *½ Out of ****

I went through a full range of emotions while watching 12 Rounds, launched from a fairly intriguing premise, my view only changed drastically (and not in a good way) over the running time.  At first I was amused by the goofy setup and charming villain, with another wrestler turned actor, John Cena, chasing down the baddie.  but as time progressed I grew bored, and as the rounds complied it grew more and more tedious until my emotions morphed into anger at the insanely blatant Die Hard: With a Vengeance rip-off that was forming before me. 

Now Hollywood is clearly not ashamed off rip-offs, nor are the writers and directors who 'create' them.  But this is literally among the most shameless I have ever seen.  The following I say without hyperbole.  If you told someone the plot description of Die Hard 3 with them never having any prior knowledge of either film, and then showed them 12 Rounds they would believe you 100% that they were watching the infinitely better Bruce Willis action romp.  In addition, director Reny Harlin (who ironically helmed Die Hard 2) takes any charm, good sense of pace and competent acting of the Die Hard series and replaces those attributes with goofiness, tedium and increasingly cringe-inducing performances. 

The plot is simple, and I don’t want to 'spoil' anything either so I will keep this brief.  Cena stars as Danny Fisher a cop who one night is drawn into a large sting operation to capture a wanted terrorist by the name of Miles Jackson (a perpetually annoying Aidan Gillen).  Unfortunately for Danny and Miles, the baddies girlfriend is killed in the ensuing pursuit and escaping from prison years later Miles wants revenge. And what better way then to set up 12 rounds worth of tests that range from bland, to ridiculous, to impossible for anyone not John Cena. 

Strangely I have no real problems with John Cena's acting, perhaps due to the fact that he doesn’t really act at all; he is just sort of there.  The only thing that keeps the film from being utterly disastrous is the presence of Danny’s cute girlfriend (Ashley Scott) and his partner, Hank (Steve Harris).  Those pros are constantly overshadowed by some utterly obnoxious FBI agents and just the overall sloppiness of the screenplay.  You will need a 12 step program to get over 12 Rounds.